her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
