i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
