...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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