At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
