I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
