I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
