Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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