garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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