Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.

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(925): View more from California

i just saw a foot job.

(925): View more from California

porn is incredible...

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(845): View more from New York

This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

Fav 45 1096 8396
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(510): View more from California

im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

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(806): View more from Texas

What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

Fav 30 4968 1821
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(407): View more from Florida

Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.

(1-407): View more from Florida

That's horrible but hilarious

(407): View more from Florida

I'm going to miss college.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?

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