i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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