They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
