Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
