Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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