so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
