Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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