Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
