I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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