I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
