Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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