Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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