My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
