Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A+ Viking dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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