I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
