I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
