Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
