well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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