saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
