It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
