I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
