12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
