I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if i can run in heels then i can drive
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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