a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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