yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
