we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
