Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
