What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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