Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
