dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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