in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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