i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
