I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
