I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
