I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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