you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm always down for nudity.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
