Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
