What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
