I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
