just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
