OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
