i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
