big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
