I'm jealous of your bromance
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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